


Too Sexy For This Mask

by Fair_Feather_Friend



Series: SexyCatGuyNumber9 vs The Virgin Vigilante [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Coitus Interruptus, Communication, Humor, M/M, Pranks, Riddles, Romantic Gestures, Superheroes, Supervillains
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22841659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fair_Feather_Friend/pseuds/Fair_Feather_Friend
Summary: Kit's a mysterious villain with an assortment of masks. Halo's the newest member of the Junior Union Superhero Team.After meeting at asupervillain-conventionsex-club, and a number of shenanigans they're now secretly dating despite never having seen each-other's faces.When Halo insists to Kit that unmaskings need to be dramatic, Kit concocts a villainous scheme to make Halo's wishes come true. But even once the masks come off there's still lots to learn about each other.
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character, Snarky jaded male supervillain/Adorably optimistic male superhero, Supervillain/Superhero, hero/villain - Relationship
Series: SexyCatGuyNumber9 vs The Virgin Vigilante [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1642363
Comments: 17
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of my first superhero story You Can Leave Your Mask On. I wasn't too sure whether to start a new chapter there or just make it a series. 
> 
> So here we go. I need to work out tags still.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite never having seen his boyfriend's face, Halo decides that unmaskings need to be dramatic. Kit decides to take charge, and sends Halo some suitably villainous courtship gifts laden with riddles that are directions to a secret location.

1.

"Unmaskings and identity reveals are meant to be epic," Halo captured Kit's hands in his own, preventing him from removing the mask. 

"Mmm?" Kit asked. "It's going to be rather anticlimactic. I'm quite plain under here, and you're so very not."

There was much Halo could say to that. That he liked the glimpses of what he could see. The expressive mouth, those sharp brown eyes. Sure eyebrows and nose and forehead and cheekbones were all hidden but what did it matter? He answered with the lightest of pecks to Kit's lips, a squeezing of his fingers.

"It's like unwrapping a gift. I love the ceremony and the paper and the fancy ribbons and the anticipation and how special it is. We never had any of that in Eden."

"So we should do battle then? You should catch me performing some sort of nefarious deed. We should struggle." Kit's tongue darted out to wet his lips. "You overpower me, tie me up. I'll be completely at your mercy. You can do anything you want to me."

"Only if I win."

Kit's breath came quicker. "Only if you win. If you lose then you'll be in my clutches, utterly helpless. Forced to do whatever I want."

Halo wasn't sure which he liked the sound of better. They were still taking things slowly, and while there were hot and heavy make out sessions, they'd not moved beyond that. Which suited Halo perfectly. It would have been weird if they'd had sex before they'd removed their masks. Not that he'd object, just usually it was masks off before pants. Or was it? The party they'd been at would suggest otherwise.

"Pants or masks?" Halo blurted out. 

"Halo?" Kit was smiling.

"Which do we take off first?"

Kit laughed, oh so fond. "Leave the underwear on. Don't touch my neck. Everything else is fair game. You?"

"I'm good with anything." 

"I'm sure that's not true. Maybe I should tie you up and start putting clothes on you."

"If that's what you like," Halo said. "So where?"

"Now that would be telling. Let me take care of the specifics."

"After all this talk I'm going to need a cold shower." Halo said.

"I could help with that."

"Will you let me return the favour?"

Kit considered the question. "Not yet."

"I'd rather wait until I can see your face then."

* * *

2.

The first gift was hand-delivered to Halo, by a courier, while he was on patrol. 

Mimic had been trying to persuade Halo that the 'beautiful buxom babes by the bank were hiding bombs in their bras', which they were going to use to rob said bank.' Halo, in return, was quoting the book on sexual harassment at him. 

It was a good way to practice his most recent studies. 

Solitaire had awkwardly attempted to correct Halo's sexual education, particularly on matters of consent and harassment. Sex was never something Solitaire was particularly comfortable speaking of, which might have been why he'd persuaded his first ever ward to join them. Snap! had listened in, with amusement, before rescuing Solitaire and doing a much better job of going over the sex and consent rules, both written and unwritten.

And so now, despite Mimic's insistence, Halo knew that bombshells didn't actually involve bombs, there was no cleaving in cleavage, and that it was ethically wrong to use their position as superheroes to hit on girls. Even if they were hot. 

Halo was handed a large box with glossy blue paper and a vast array of silver ribbons. It was beautiful. The sort of gifts you saw on television where none of the packaging need be damaged, with a lid that just lifted off.

While Halo wanted to wait, anticipating the contents, Mimic needled him to open it up, pointing out, rightly so, that the package was a distraction to their duties that they didn't need and the sooner they dealt with it, the sooner they could return to protecting the populace.

Inside was a solitary silver balloon that began to drift into the sky. Halo grabbed for it but there was no string and it slipped from his grasp. He reached for it with the light and it exploded in his face. 

KABOOM!

Mimic laughed his head off. Not literally this time. There was no elaborate trick with his voice-throwing and a fake head. He just laughed, a lot.

Halo laughed too, particularly when he fished out the watch-face from the balloon remnants which was stuck at 7:15. 

\---

The hand-picked bouquet was a wonderful surprise and one that filled Halo with joy even when Mike had laughed and said they were weeds not flowers. As if there was a difference. Mike had gone on and on and on about how Halo was getting pranked, and was too stupid to notice, and Halo had just wished he'd shut up and mind his own business. The bouquet was beautiful, not worthless. 

There were nettles and brambles for foliage, the prickles of thistles along with their vibrant purple heads, and most notably those sunshine bright dandelions. Halo was careful not to sniff, just in case. He couldn't help but smile. He loved dandelions and their cheery brightness and how they resembled the sun and even the very name of them. 

There were tags with a 7 a 15 and a PM on the stalks of the thistles. The PM was underlined several times. 

If t were for thistles was the time, then d for dandelion might be the day, and further investigation revealed another clue that confirmed his suspicions. There were fifteen dandelions, that was 5 days time, on a Friday night. Unless it meant in fifteen days time, but that was an awfully long time to wait. 

\--- 

The lavishly wrapped box of chocolates required Halo to rip the paper, there was no other way to get in. Inside the first box was a second and inside that a third, and by the time he got to the fancy artisan chocolates he was smiling. 

It was empty. Well not empty but each and every one of the chocolates had already been eaten, with crinkled foil in each of the spaces where a chocolate should reside. There was a whiff of chocolate about the box but aside from a few crumbs nothing. 

There was a helpful note of "don't eat candy from strangers." The menu card labelled them such delicacies as. 

Poison. Anchovies. Rice? Or was that Nice? Tobacco. yogHURT. Wasabi. Arsenic. Razorblades. Emetic. 'Herbs.' Olive. ???Unknown???. Slime. E. Numbers. 

There was a riddle that he kept trying to puzzle out. Cross-referencing the order of the wrappers in the box with the menu lead him to PARTY WAREHOUSE? Or was it paNty? It was only after he'd done so that he realised the box itself, beneath the wrapping, had a label with a manufacturer's address on it. Which a quick search showed had once been a warehouse for party supplies. The best before date also confirmed the time and the date.

Come alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kit and Halo have a sexy-showdown at a Party Warehouse, laden with traps and where nothing goes as planned.

Stealth was not Halo's strong suit. When you glowed brighter than the Aurora Borealis the last thing you were was sneaky. No! Halo's strength was his strength.

Despite his lack of flight powers, Halo's a preference for entering via the window. Alas, these were all boarded up, with some helpful notes scribbled on them saying 'use the front door.' He could undoubtedly pry open one of the windows and make his dramatic entrance from there. He counted fire-exits that were likewise labelled with arrows and 'use the front door.' 

On the back-door there was a big sign saying  
DANGER!!! TRAPS! DANGER!!! NOT THIS DOOR!!

Halo flung himself up into the air, and while perching upon the windowsill he carefully pried the window open.

CAWCAWCAWCAW 

There were halloween spiderwebs tangled over the window, sticky to the touch. He ignited it and it went up like a flash. Which defeated the purpose of his sneaking in the first place.

A light-reactive crow cawing. Halo scanned the dark room below. There were a series of traps laid out on the floor below that he'd circumvented simply by not using the doors. He hoped that Kit hadn't spent too long assembling them.

He bit back the urge to announce his presence, as if that sudden flash hadn't already done so for him. 

"The door, Halo. How difficult is it to use a door."

"Might be trapped."

"Of course they were trapped."

"I could go out and come back in."

"Well there's no point now. Hero, prepare to meet your doom."

Nothing happened.

"Ugh! It worked earlier! Must be performance anxiety. Work you pile of junk!"

"Hahahahahahahahaha." A figure laughed robotically. It was soon joined by others. 

"Not you! Stoppit!" The series of robot clowns continued their laughter. "Stop mocking me."

Halo'd finally triangulated Kit's location to the floor of the warehouse, beside an automaton. He leapt down. The flare of light triggered a cacophony of cawing crows!!!

"My speech!" Kit grumbled. "I spent a long time practicing it."

"Tell it to me later."

"Not the point, you've ruined it now."

If Halo couldn't see that half-curve of his lips he might actually believe Kit was annoyed. "Green?" he asked. 

"Fucking green," Kit snarked back and Halo's heart soared just in time for him to be pelted in the middle of the chest with a powdery grenade. It exploded in a burst of… rose freshness, only to be followed by another, and another. 

"WHY ARE YOU THROWING BATH BOMBS AT ME!?"

"Take a few steps back towards the door to find out!" 

That didn't seem like a good idea.

"Because there weren't any real bombs in here." Kit added.

Wait no they were coming from one of those ball-throwing machines. A moment later it started to rain. No! A hose and some sprinklers. The bathbombs fizzled disappointingly in the water.

Some of the electrics sizzled and died as the water hit them.

"That wasn't as dramatic as I'd hoped."

Halo tried not to laugh.

Kit was fast, but Halo'd fought him before. And he'd planned, imagining this fight over and over again, each time sexier than the last. Admittedly not in this exact way He'd planned for those goggles, although he didn't want to cause blindness or cause a seizure. He knew he couldn't touch Kit directly with his powers, but that didn't prevent indirect assaults. Or distractions.

Halo wished he could say it was a mighty, epic battle, but it was more a comedy of errors. Fun with it. Kit slid on the wet floor/soap combination, and Halo used that opportunity to overbalance the villain, knocking them both to the floor. "Lights?" Halo asked. 

"So green." Kit breathed. Halo kissed him, hard, on the cold soapy floor, and at least the clowns and the crows had finally silenced. Kit responded to the kiss for a moment, before somehow squirming out from beneath Kit - all that soap made it hard to get a proper grip - and dashing further into the warehouse. Halo gave pursuit, hoping there was a bed somewhere there. 

"Luminous!" Kit called out the last and a spotlight lit up another area of the room.

Tied upon a chair sat a medium-sized dark teddy bear, with a golden muzzle, and wearing a white t-shirt with a gold halo on it, similar to Halo's costume. A Sunbear. There were a few tiny toy sharks on the floor surrounding it, completely out of scale.

"You kidnapped a teddybear?"

"My evil knows no limits! Did I kidnap it from a child who is just now desperately sobbing for the return of their best friend. Or did I zap your sidekick and transform him into a stuffed toy! Now do as I say or he'll pay the price." Kit pulled a space-age looking raygun and pointed it at the toy.

"You're not going to shoot a toy!"

"Try me," the nefarious toynapper smirked. And shot a warning shot with his laser gun, narrowly avoiding singing the toy's arm.

Laser gun? Seriously? As if Halo didn't control light. "You missed."

"Did I?"

"Why is it ticking?" Halo asked.

"Bomb!" 

Halo dove for cover. Nothing exploded. 

"Or maybe a clock. Or maybe a clock bomb." Kit laughed.

"You said there weren't any real bombs here."

"Now you remember. Maybe I lied. His name's Sunny." 

"Whose?"

"The Bear. He's the best sidekick you'll ever have. No backchat. No snark. Always willing to give you a hug if you've had a bad day."

"I'm an adult! I don't need a teddybear!"

"Do you hear that, Sunny," Kit said. "Your Hero's abandoning you to a cruel fate. Come join me in the dark side."

"No." Halo lashed out with his light to free the bear. "I rescued him. He's mine."

"Fight me for him?" Kit challenged.

And they did. Somehow Kit ended up on the ground again, overpowered by Halo's larger form. 

There was the chair Halo could have tied Kit to, drawn this out, teased, but he didn't want those clever hands out of action, didn't want this to be anything but a shared moment of revelation. Halo pulled off the first mask and there was a second beneath, and then a third beneath that, and he couldn't help but laugh and by the time he'd peeled off that one they were both breathless from kissing. And sure Kit had drawn a fourth in smudged makeup upon his actual real face.

Halo kissed cheekbones and eyelids and the nose and… "You're handsome…"

"Don't." Kit said sharply. "It's dark and you're blind and don't lie. Just don't. I know what I am." There was inexplicable bitterness in his voice.

"Okay," Halo said softly. He took Kit's hands in his own and raised them to his own mask. Kit lifted the mask off as if it was the most precious thing in the world, and he stroked fingers through Halo's hair. 

"That was fun." Halo smiled. "You put a lot of effort into this."

"And you skipped it all by using the window like a flyer."

"Expect the unexpected."

"I did expect it, hence all the notes, and the warning system. I just expected you to expect that I expected it and then go through the door."

"Is there somewhere more comfortable we can go in here?"

"What was that?"

The main doors opened, followed by a startled yell. "HALO?"

"Mimic."

"Mike?" Kit scrambled, grabbing for one of his masks. "What's he doing here?"

"I don't know," Halo replied. "He couldn't have followed me. Did you invite him?"

"Fuck no. Go see what he's up to. Don't tell him about me." Kit was already darting away, leaping up towards the window that Halo had entered via.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halo's really angry at his team-mate, Mike, for ruining his super-sexy-date and so they fight in a very non-sexy way.

Mimic was dangling upside down, tied by a rope while being pelted by bath bombs and squirted with water. Halo lasered the rope slicing right through causing Mike to crash to the ground. The creepy masked automatons all laughed and laughed and laughed.

"Shut up!" Halo hadn't even said anything. The noise completely cut off as Mike flexed his powers. It took him a moment to clamber to his feet, sodden and annoyed. "Did she get away?"

"Who?"

"Halloweenie. I should have known you'd be consorting with villains. I thought she'd retired, stands to reason she'd come out for a pretty face."

"Who's Halloweenie?"

"The Halloween Queen, Halloween every day. The girl in the costume you were meeting here."

"I wasn't meeting a girl."

"Yeah right, that's why you're all flushed, your costume's askew, you're missing your mask, and there's makeup on your face. I don't need to be a detective to work this out. Stop treating me like a fool."

Oh. Kit had stolen his mask. Halo hoped it was a pleasant memento of what might have been. He did his best to ignore Mike's accusations. "What are you doing here?"

"Rescuing you from the obvious trap. Although you clearly didn't need any actual rescuing. If Halloweenie's recruiting please go. I'm sure you'd make her a fabulous henchman." Mike stepped closer and was barraged by a hail of champagne corks that bounced pointlessly off his body-armour. 

"How did you get here?"

"Your location tracker." His what? "On your comm." Oh! Halo would need to remember to ask Snap! How to disable it before he next had a secret tryst. "I saw all those gifts you were getting, that's extremely suspicious to start with, and sure it could have just been a civilian fan playing secret admirer, but not with the contents of the gifts. That's villain work." 

"I don't even know who Halloweenie is."

"Stop lying. Everyone knows Halloweenie."

"I'm not everyone."

Mike groaned. "At least you could lie more believably. You got all those weird gifts you refused to speak about. You act suspiciously and don't ask any of us for help. If I'd known you were just meeting up with your girlfriend I'd have left you alone but no you have to be all secretive."

"Why would you even care what happened to me?"

"I'm a Hero. It's literally my job to care about people. I know you don't care about us but if anything happens to you they'll disband the team and I'm not letting that happen. And now you're consorting with villains, which I'm going to have to report. Why don't you save me the paperwork and just quit."

"I don't see any villains here." Halo replied. "How do I know you didn't set this all up to try and frame me? I'll just tell them that."

"Finally, your true colours are showing."

"They'll believe me, not you."

"Like they believed you about the 'I was mind-controlled into going to the sex-club honest really I'm much too good a boy to do anything so nasty.'" Mimic used his powers to imitate Halo's voice.

Halo swung his fist, knuckles connecting hard with armour. 

"'Mimic tried to trick me into having fun for once.' Lighten up." Mike dodged back, avoiding the next punch. "This is the real Halo, isn't it? You pretend to be nicer than nice, better than everyone else, but when it comes down to it, you're a liar, fraud and thug."

Halo had been looking forward to this date for weeks and in none of those fantasies had Mike ever featured. This was worse than when Solitaire had showed up. Kit had put so much effort into making everything perfect. It had been amazing and now it wasn't, because Kit was gone and Mike was here sniping at him yet again. "Why do you always have to ruin everything?"

Halo expected some sort of snarky response but Mimic didn't even give him that. "Grow up."

Of all the people to tell him that! Hypocrite. Anger roiled within Halo. 

Mimic glared at him. "Is that the best you can do? It's no wonder you had to blackmail your way onto the team." 

"You'd know all about that, wouldn't you? I was picked through merit. Do you really think you'd have been chosen if not for who your parents are?"

"My parents had nothing to do with it. I earned my place."

"Doing what? You don't do anything apart from bully every single new team member. How many people have quit because of you? How many people have you hurt in the name of a laugh? What's your excuse for being such a dick?" 

Mimic began to walk away.

"And don't blame Tarot, it's been years, get over it. If he could see you now he'd be ashamed." Halo added.

Mimic threw a sonic boom, slamming Halo crashing into the mannequins. Halo's ears rang, the world span with disorientation. 

Mimic's voice was ice cold, he didn't even raise it yet still it cut through the ringing. "You did not know him. You have no right to speak of him. You will never replace him. The only reason you are on the team is because they forced you upon us. The sooner you quit the better. I'm done with you." 

The entire room went silent. Halo tried to respond but the words made no sound, and as he tried to push up, the world span again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halo calls his boyfriend and asks Kit some questions about dealing with his team-mates. 
> 
> Kit's rather busy doing super-secret stuff.

"Who's Halloweenie?" Halo asked the next time he spoke to Kit. Unfortunately it was on the phone and not in person.

"Don't you have the internet in that fancy base? Or did someone use up all the bandwidth on porn?"

"No. That was an accident!"

Kit laughed. "Haley Ween, head of the All o' Ween Corporation. Wrote the best selling 'My life as a part-time villain' which the hit musical Villain is based on."

"Are you reading off the wickedpedia entry?"

"Maybe. She used to be a minor villain years ago. She went legit, took her love of Halloween and turned it into a business. She runs All O' Ween Land now, where it's Halloween all year around and civs get a chance to play hero against a cast of villains and in a series of escape rooms. She's also a best selling author, does the talk show circuit and even has an album of Halloween themed songs. In addition to the musical."

"You know her?"

"Everyone knows her. I did a short stint at All O' Ween Land a few years back, I was the most awesome RatABat." 

"I'd love to see that."

Kit laughed. "They took the costume back and the character's under copyright." 

"How was she a minor villain if everyone knows her?" 

"Her crimes were, more of the public menace pranking style, relatively minor inconveniences as opposed to full-scale destruction and harm to all." 

"Like MzQuiz?" 

"Exactly. I think MzQuiz used to work for her. I gotta go, take care."

"Where are you anyway?"

"Confidential." Kit hung up, leaving Halo to wonder. 

Halo tried to find some photos of Kit as RatABat but to no avail. Which was a pity.

\---

"Hey-lo, can't talk now I'm busy." Kit said into the phone. It had been a week. 

"Is that music playing? Are you at a concert?" There were crowd noises, and singing in the background.

"Are you jealous?" There was a teasing tone to his voice.

"No, I just wanted to talk."

"Okay, sure. I'll call you back later. I gotta go." Kit hung up. 

Halo used the internet to try and find out where Kit had been and then just gave up. He should ask Psiren. She'd know. Probably. Concerts were her thing. 

Later ended up being 5am. 

"Every time I try and apologise he gives me the silent treatment, literally." Halo said after they'd exchanged pleasantries. "He just cuts the sound dead and then ignores me. I thought that'd be an improvement but it's not."

"Halo, are you going to spend the entire phone-call bitching about Mike? Because if I wanted to hear that I'd become a therapist or something."

"Just, I've no idea what to do. And there's no one else I can talk to."

"You've an entire team of people who are not Mike. And a mentor, plus all of his past wards, I'm sure any of them would talk to you."

"Sorry."

"Why couldn't you be calling to sext?" Kit joked.

"Mmm. I could try if you wanted. I'll tie you up. Then I'll whisper to you. 'what do I do about Mimic?'" 

Kit laughed. 

"You struggle but there's no way to escape. I get down on my hands and knees. I beg. 'Help me Kit, you're my only hope.' And there you have it, a hero at your complete mercy. 'Please help.'"

"Okay but when we next meet up I want to see that. Write him a note."

"I've tried. He won't read it."

"Deliver it in an inventive fashion, the more embarrassing the better. Big gift-wrapped box, that starts playing Apologize the moment it's opened. Custard pie with 'sorry' on it spring-loaded into the box and set to smack him in the face. Or eat humble pie yourself in front of him. Show you have a sense of humour."

"And that's meant to make him like me?"

"Halo, I'm a villain. Don't ask me for advice. Show him some respect. Call him Mr Hunt." 

"But that's not his name."

"Say it out loud."

"Mr Hunt."

"No, with his first name."

"Mike... Are you trying to trick me into swearing again?"

"Mmm. Maybe. Are you smiling yet?"

"Shame on you," Halo smiled. 

"Call him Mr Hat then, or Mr Angaroo, he'll get a kick out of that one."

"I'm not doing that, calling him by the wrong name is dehumanising. It's important to call a person by their chosen name. It's disrespectful of his identity not to."

"Fair." Kit replied. "But, that's where your issues lie. He's like that with everyone, best thing to do is give as good as you get."

"I can't do that. I tried which is how it all went disastrously wrong."

"Not everyone can like you. Forget him, work on the others."

"I've no idea where to start there."

"Ask them for help."

"With Mimic?"

"In general. They're heroes, heroes like to be useful and help. You're all solo doing it on your own, that's not a great attitude to have on a team. Not that I'd know anything about that."

"I offer to help them." 

"Not the same thing. Read up on the Ben Franklin Effect."

"What's that?"

"Read it. Why'm I giving you team advice anyway? Ask Solitaire, or Snap! Or anyone who's actually a hero. I've no idea how those things work. Or speak to your therapist. Challenge Mike to a fight and keep fighting him. Give him a chance to pummel you for a bit, let him work out that aggression and work out some of your own."

"Are you not mad at him for ruining our date?"

"No, best laid plans and all that. We already did all the fun stuff." Halo almost argued that they hadn't even got to it yet. "And it was hilarious seeing him swinging upside down, yelling. It was great to see the traps actually work since someone avoided them. Sorry things sucked afterwards, but sometimes they do. Or don't suck, as the case may be. It's the drawback of being a villain, there's always a hero somewhere determined to spoil your plans."

"Have you ever think of becoming a hero yourself?"

"Fuck no, too many rules, not enough cursing."

"So where are you? Any idea when you'll get back?"

"Classified. Last thing I want is a hero flying in to pay me a visit and scuppering my plans."

"I can't fly. You're not cheating on me with another Hero, are you?"

Kit laughed. "As if I'd have time for that. Juggling one hero's tricky enough." 

"You shouldn't be juggling me at all. I'm not that sort of light. Can we talk about exclusivity when you get back?"

"Is there a need?" 

"We probably should. Everything was different in Eden and I don't know how it works here. Relationships I mean, not sex. I'm not a virgin. I know how to sex."

"Yeah, the more you insist the more I believe you," Kit replied. "Are you worried about me being out here sleeping with anything that moves?"

"Not worried. Just wondering."

"Look, you're hot and you're patient, I appreciate both of those. I'm monogamous, which I know, weird for a villain given how hypersexual we're all supposed to be. That's actually just the heroes demonising sex and sexuality and justifying how they lust after our tight leather pants. Not that there's anything wrong with lots of casual sex, but it just doesn't do it for me.

"But, I don't expect the same of you. If you want to have sex with other people, or get yourself a bunch of other boyfriends, okay sure. I won't promise not to hunt them down and kidnap them, or otherwise try to foil your relationships, as long as we're together. I am terrible at sharing. So let them know or break up with me first. Have a think about it, we can hash out details later. I should get going. See you when I get back."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halo and Kit go on a romantic date to the beach, where they are interrupted by BIRDS and CRIME!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is turning out to be "For BafflingHaze" even if it doesn't have what they ask for. Their comments are fuel to me write write writing. We'll see how long that lasts. Hopefully I can push through to the end of this story-arc before the muse deserts me. It is going somewhere.

Without masks they could go out in public and pretend to be normal, which was something Halo never had that much experience of. He dressed nerdy, like Psiren had taught him to, and with black rimmed glasses and a different hairstyle that was supposedly out of date. And for the most part it worked in so much as no one yelled "hey Halo" at him, even if with his height, his physique and his model good looks he had a tendency to stand out even with the disguise.

Kit, on the other hand, managed to blend in perfectly, something that always surprised Halo. Kit claimed it was because he was so thoroughly average, but Halo didn't see it. Not with that sleek athletic figure, not with his soft brown hair, nor those sharp smokey eyes. Maybe it was all the black he wore. 

A romantic sunset walk along the beach, holding hands and sharing a bag of piping hot chips was disrupted by the sound of squawking gulls and angry voices. Halo quick-changed into his street-superhero outfit, pulling on his mask, while Kit watched, amused. Kit's sole nod to costume was to pull on a mask he had in his pocket, and then the two of them dashed along the beach to see what was going on.

Seagulls dive-bombed a group of shrieking teens, while a short man in a bird costume yelled angrilys.

"Gull," Kit supplied helpfully to Halo. The name didn't seem familiar at all, nor did the costume.

"Cease this avian assault, Villain!" Halo yelled, being certain to cast a spotlight on himself to draw all attention his way. "Let them go!" 

Gull stared with disbelief. "Halo... wow Halo, you're... wow... How'd you get here so fast.?"

The birds continued their angry attack upon the teens.

"Let me illuminate you on the error of your ways!" Halo quipped. "Eyes!" He pulsed brightly, startling the gulls. 

Gull's anger turned to Halo, who he started yelling at, and flapping his wings. "Don't hurt them! You monster!" 

"You should have thought of that before you recruited them to your nefarious schemes."

The three teens, free off their avian assailants all crowded beside Halo. "Thanks for saving us!" Other than some bruising and ruined clothing caused by the disgusting mess that angry seagulls made, they seemed none the worse for wear.

"I didn't recruit anyone," Gull said. "They recruited me. And the true villains are those three that stand behind you."

"He's crazy," the taller girl said. "Completely whacko."

"What villainy do you accuse them of?" 

"Those monsters were littering the beach," Gull declared. "It hurts the gulls, and other creatures."

"Is this true?" Halo asked. "That you were littering?"

"Come on man, it was just a few cans, we were going to come back for them."

Gull stomped his foot angrily. "Liars. Every time you are here you leave a bigger mess. You think no one notices but the birds do and they remember."

"Show me the mess," Halo said. Gull walked him towards it, pointing with a wing, the teens trailing reluctantly after. On the sand, beside the blackened remnants of a fire-pit, there were a number of empty cans of beer and cigarette butts as well as some carrier bags and empty crisp packets.

"Hey, that wasn't all us. Most of that was here when we got there."

"Did you witness them commit the crime?" Halo asked.

"Littering's not a crime! That's ridiculous."

"Mehk was the one who alerted me to their presence. She's been very unhappy with how the monsters have been abusing the sea."

Kit had tuned out, instead taking the opportunity to commit a minor act of villainy by graffitiing the " ~~Don't~~ Feed The Seagulls" sign, and then for lack of anything better to do threw a few chips for the gulls. 

"Don't do that!" Gull chided. "Chips are not healthy food for seagulls!"

Kit threw a chip right at Gull in retaliation. Kit glanced at Halo to see the hero writing citations for the three teens. He looked back at Gull. "You speak to birds?"

"Not like that," Gull replied. "It's not about speaking to them. Anyone can speak to them. It's about listening and watching. Birds don't communicate like we do and they don't do language the same way. It's not like a power or anything, you could say they have the power. I just watch them and listen to them and if they need human-shaped help they come get me."

Kit nodded. "Why Seagulls?"

"Because they're the best and no one else appreciates them. They're everywhere but people just see them as a nuisance when they're not, they're amazing, and so clever. They've adapted exceptionally well to human habitation. They're capable of tool use. They can recognise people. They have a dance that tricks worms to the surface so they can eat them. You know that there are a number of different species of seagull. These are Herring Gulls and they are critically endangered, even though they've learned to adapt to live amongst us. They can live up to 40 years old and are extremely good parents, taking care of their children even into their adolescence." 

Kit nodded again. "I'm here, distracting you, that so once Halo finishes up dealing with them, he'll come over to you and try and do the same."

"Oh." Gull's shoulders slumped. 

"So, it'd probably be a good idea if you flew off before then. Do you know Fauna?"

Gull nodded, then shook his head. "I've... I've heard of her, not met though. She's like major league. And hasn't she retired?" 

"If you love birds as much as she loves all animals you two will get along. Are you at this beach often?"

Gull nodded. "So... um are you Halo's sidekick? I didn't know he had one. You've got horns..." he gestured to Kit's simple black mask with devil-horns.

"No more talk! Go fly!"

Gull ran off, flapping his wings, about as stealthily as a boy in a seagull costume could, which is to say not at all. 

-

"You let him go?" Halo asked.

"Villain." Kit reminded him. "You take care of the teens?"

"Yeah. They're going to join the beach cleanup group this weekend instead of paying the littering fine. I'm going to make sure they do. I should go after Gull. A mask with unregistered powers assaulting people isn't someone to let go running about free."

"Should you?" Kit stepped closer, his gaze smouldering. "He's just a child, sounded younger than the teens. All that was just minor bird empathy, doubt it's even a D Rank power. Get Psiren to call Fauna tomorrow, give your report to her. She'll be gentle on him and make sure he gets what training he can." 

Halo nodded, suddenly aware of how close Kit was, how distracting and how his thoughts always ended up going the same place. "Want to have sex on the beach?" 

"That's just a drink, you know." Kit laughed. "With all the birds watching? And the sand." He pressed in close against Halo and kissed him, deep, intimate, longing. They stood like that as the sun set and the waves were lapping at their feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Halo's disguise looking like Kevin from Ghostbusters, but younger. 
> 
> Whereas Kit's all gothy alternative.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halo talks to another of his team-mates, Catana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Realised I'd cut out everything with the rest of the Junion so wrote up a conversation between Halo and one of his other team-mates. 
> 
> The Junion is 
> 
> Psiren/Ren - empath and team leader.  
> Mimic/Mike - sound manipulation  
> Galiath/Gal - super strength  
> Catana/Tana - speedster  
> Prince - frog powers
> 
> Former Original Team Members  
> Doc - Healing (Left)  
> Fauna - Animal Telepathy (Left)  
> Tarot - Minor Luck (Dead)
> 
> Gust is Gal's boyfriend, but not a team member.

Halo returned to the Junior Union Secret Lair with bags of takeaway, heading into the common room to find it empty save for Catana who was messing with something on her laptop. She put the computer aside as soon as she saw Halo, nose twitching, bounced to her feet and grinned..

"Is that Japanese? Halo! You're my new favourite person. You having some? Is this for all of us? Ren and Prince are out on patrol. Gal's on a date with Gust. Mike's out as well being Mike so just the two of us." As she spoke she unpacked the food, laying the boxes upon boxes out, checking their contents. "Ooooh noodles. Mmmm you went to the good place." Catana started slurping said noodles giving Halo a chance to get a word in edgeways. 

"Just for you," Halo smiled. "I know you love sushi and I thought maybe we could hang out? We never get any one on one time." 

"Ooh now I feel special. Are you trying to seduce me?"

"What? No!"

"Calm down, I know you're gaylo."

"You do?"

"Well I do now," Catana grinned. "Don't worry, so am I, but for the ladies. Is that why they threw you out of Eden? Their loss, our gain. I won't tell anyone that'll cause trouble for us. We should rebrand ourselves the Rainbow Revolutionaries plus token straight dude, get Psiren to design us some fabulous costumes. It's about time we updated our looks." 

"I thought our private lives were meant to remain private."

"Ugh," Catana rolled her eyes, plucking up a salmon nigiri with her fingers and popping it into her mouth. "Soooo good," she spoke around the food. "Try one. Like anyone cares. It'd be good if we could, give kids some role models to look up to, adults too. But if you want to keep it quiet that's fine, my lips are sealed." She made a zipping gesture. 

"So why don't you?"

"Management says no. PR says no. They say people don't need to know our private lives, especially when none of us are dating apart from Gal, and she's in a 'straight' relationship," Catana made finger quotes and rolled her eyes. "Of course that didn't stop them when they thought they could sell all of us into straight showmances, it wasn't private then it was a marketing opportunity. We'd push the issue if not for Mike, but choose our battles and all that. So what do you want?"

"Your company?"

Catana laughed and repeated. "Right. Sure. You could get that any time without buying me a pile of my favourite food to butter me up. What else?"

"How do I fix things with Mike?"

"Is he still mad at you? What happened anyway? Thought you were going to tell us when you could hear again and then you didn't, and nobody wrote a report, and Mike's been grumpier than usual about it."

"We got into an argument. He's now ignoring me. I thought he hated me before, but now it's even worse." 

"Mike didn't hate you, he's just an ass to everyone, apart from Gal since he knows it hurts her when he's mean to her. If you tell him directly, to stop something he will though. Usually."

"I can't even say anything he cuts the sound dead. I tried a note but he doesn't read it."

"Okay, yeah he's mad at you. It's been weeks, huh? You should ask Ren, she does this sorta mediation thing, being an empath and all. I don't."

"Every time I was meant to do a team-up with Psiren she sent Mimic instead. I don't think she likes me much either."

"Oh." Catana laughed. "No, Ren likes you lots, that's why she requested you for the team. She's just being Ren. I told her don't do your thing, but did she listen?"

Halo tried to unpack that. "What thing?"

"Just Ren, her thing, you've seen it, ok maybe not, before your time. She fancies herself a real Emma. The last time was with Gust and that worked out great for him and Gal, although not at all how she expected it to."

"Wait? You asked for me? I wasn't just assigned?"

Catana nods. "Yes. Of course we asked. Well Psiren did the actual asking, but we all agreed."

"Even Mike?"

"Yeah, even Mike. Although who has a clue what's going on with him most of the time. Well Psiren might but," Catana shrugged. "We heard about you and Management's been trying to pressure us to accept new team members, on account of this place being mostly empty, but none of the ones they've assigned have stuck around." 

"I thought Mike made all the new members quit?"

"Who told you that? Not true, or, it's complicated. He did get Crusher to quit, but Crusher deserved it. The rest just left, and maybe sure we helped nudge some of them to the door but that was an us, all together, as a team. It's mostly, the team's not what most people expect. The Junion's a joke. We know it is. We're in our twenties and still going by Junior Union doing a job we signed up for when we were thirteen, and letting management run our lives. They won't let us do anything but PR, small scale stuff, and the occasional celebrity body-guarding. If any supervillain came up against us, they'd probably die laughing. Which isn't fair, since we all worked really hard to be good. 

"Anyway where was I, your team origin story, right? Well Gal, had seen an interview with you, and said you must be lonely. And Prince - you met him at some function ages back - said you were like super ethical but bendy not rigid. So Psiren went to check you out and came back and she was all 'we've got to get this guy on our team' so I hacked your records and there were no red flags, so we put in the request and they said yes." 

"You actually wanted me?"

"Yeah, of course we did. You've been the best fit we've had. Come sit here and eat some teriyaki veg. It's so good. You want a hug?"

Halo nodded. 

"You know I don't give hugs to most people." The hug was a very brief thing. "Especially not boys," Catana grinned. "People might get the wrong idea. Don't worry about Mike, unless you did something really awful he'll come around. And speak to Ren anyway, she'll want to help fix things."


End file.
